An addendum to Forsooth’s debriefing about the events of last Friday night. As we were preparing to leave, severely Inebriated Man was showing signs that he might vomit at any moment, i.e. heaving and swaying between repeated slurring of ‘I’m alright guys.’ He was promptly frogmarched to the WC while the rest of us formed a huddle and either attempted to swop phone numbers, or discussed cigars. Having unfortunately sobered up and reverted to my default state of uncharitable and morose, I pointed out the injustice of having to hang around while Inebriated Man communed with the toilet bowl, when earlier on in the evening I had in fact wanted to vomit while he subjected me to a (drunken) discourse on telemarketing, my bete noire. I then launched into a particularly animated round of ‘ya3ni eih da’ and ‘eih el 2araf da’ complete with full ‘I can smell poo’ grimaces.
Unfortunately, I released a particularly vituperative ‘eih da’ accompanied with a facial distortion usually only witnessed in Cubist art, just as a woman was walking past – and I somehow managed to end up looking her right in the eye as the words left my mouth. Now we had remarked this lady earlier on the evening because she had a certain la Cage Aux Folles gender uncertainty vibe about her. Given Egypt’s distinct absence of a come as you are, strength in diversity philosophy, it is pretty safe to say that she must frequently receive the type of crappy stares and comments against which I railed in another post*. Imagine my horror then as the words left my lips, and her stare hardened to such a degree that she could have used it to knock me unconscious. Lady! Peace and love sister, I was talking about telemarketing.
Why do these things always happen to me?
*Ebony, Irony and Abdallah. The ever cooperative Blogger will for some reason not let me open individual posts in a new window, thereby preventing me from obtaining a URL for it. Nor will it allow me to upload pictures. Not that I’m ungrateful or anything. In its infinite generosity it does(sometimes) allow me to post posts, sometimes even on the first attempt!