Airport reading ban

On Friday night someone told me that the last book he’d read was ‘the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.’

If I hear ‘the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ referred to just once more I will personally hunt down Stephen Covey and demonstrate to him how even highly ineffective people can give Chinese burns.

Self-help manuals are not books, they are a blended tasteless smoothie of Oprah, Tyra Banks and Rachel bloody Ray which fill stomachs without providing any kind of useful nutrition and make those who consume them burp codswallop.

And if anyone mentions ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’ in my presence, I will drop-kick them. Emily Davison did not get flattened for you to spend your lives discussing men and their intentions. Here’s an easy to use tip: if you spend more time talking to your guuurlfriends about a bloke that you do actually talking to the bloke himself, chances are you wont be waking up in his t-shirt any time soon.

God dammit, and they put that in 100 plus pages and sold it for cash money!

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35 Responses to Airport reading ban

  1. Anonymous says:

    hi i have been reading your blog and i enjoy it would it be alright if i use ur writing as an example of certain literary devices i have to show for a skool project

  2. Forsoothsayer says:

    dude some girls just need to have the obvious stated! it has been enormously helpful.

  3. Eventuality says:

    Totally agree! These are not books. Speaking of Rachel Ray, Is she extremely annoying or is it my imagination? I have never seen anyone so excited in my life…and about really cheesy things…what is she so excited about all the time?

  4. Amnesiac says:

    Anon: are you fo real?

    Forsooth: uff

    Eventuality: she is annoying.

  5. Basil Fawlty says:

    Old bookstore joke: if you work in a bookstore and someone comes in asking for the self-help section, look them in the eye and say ‘Isn’t that defeating the point?’

  6. Seneferu says:

    How is Orwell’s Coming up for Air? Any chance of a review?:)

  7. Will E. says:

    I think the benefit of self help books only appear for those who think they can help themselves, to all others they’re absolutely useless.

    Having said that, those that choose to help themselves can’t start by reading a book, because no matter what books you read you’d have to have started, these books are good for a few pointers and some conclusions that you haven’t reached yet, but were about to anyway given a few years.

    Anyway, like I said, their words mean noting but affirmation to those who believe in character development, and nothing at all to those who don’t believe that they have control over how they change.. So basically it’s a matter of reading the right book at the right time, or not at all..

    (That’s so long I think it should have been a post, and yes.. it’s a very pompous, knows it all comment, but I did precede all the dictation with “I think”.. pc)

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