ABDEL-MEGUID MAHMOUD RETURNS TO EARTH AFTER ASTOUNDING JOURNEY

Egypt’s Prosecutor General Abdel-Meguid Mahmoud stunned the world on Sunday when he went to work normally after being sent into space.

In a press conference held at the High Court this morning a clearly frazzled looking Mahmoud told reporters that his voyage began last week when Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi invited him to his El-Tagomoa El-Khames rented flat.

Mahmoud said that Morsi informed him that he had won a “special prize”.

“I assumed that it was a free trip to the pilgrimage to Mecca, and asked him whether this was it. He did not say otherwise”, Mahmoud said, adding that president told him to bring some warm clothes because he would be going on a “special kind of nahda”.

Mahmoud was told that the trip would start in Italy, specifically at the Vatican. While he thought this was odd, Mahmoud did not question it because as he put it, “I am still exploring the dimensions of the Muslim Brotherhood.”

Mahmoud arrived at the Vatican on Thursday evening with his family and was immediately separated from them when judge Hossam el-Gheryany appeared.

El-Gheryany has said in media statements that he invited Mahmoud to knock himself out and then bundle himself unconscious into the back of a van, and that Mahmoud accepted this.

When Mahmoud woke up, he was in space. The Prosecutor General said that he heard a voice in his helmet earpiece that sounded like the president saying, “It’s all done out of love. Long live Egypt. Goodbye.” Mahmoud said he heard a crowd in the background saying “Allaho akbar we lellah el 7amd” [God is great and all gratitude to God].

Mahmoud returned to earth when he launched himself off the space station and plummeted to earth. Sources close to the Public Prosecutor have suggested that, peeved at Morsi’s subterfuge, Mahmoud decided to set a new world record for the furthest jump by a pissed off public servant.

The Guinness Book of Records is currently examining Mahmoud’s claim.

Mahmoud landed at the High Court in the middle of a homosexual disco, where he was met by an emotional Ahmed El-Zind who embraced him warmly.

Responding to Mahmoud’s allegations, a Muslim Brotherhood spokesman said that at the time of the events there were no Muslim Brotherhood members in space because they had all left by afternoon prayers.

Commenting, Khaled Abdallah said that any Muslim who goes to space must be stripped of a government position if he returns to earth. Abdallah has requested that this be spelled out in article 3 of the Constitution currently being drafted.

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136 Responses to ABDEL-MEGUID MAHMOUD RETURNS TO EARTH AFTER ASTOUNDING JOURNEY

  1. Helen says:

    Awww, a sad ending – he came back!
    Egypt has a bad habit of leaving people in jobs way past their expiry date. Too much of Egypt’s social & economical system is like its streets – in direr need of a clean sweep!

    The judge (from Battle of the Camels trial) told the witnesses that due to their being political opponents of those on trial, they were all outright liars and couldn’t be trusted, henceforth wouldn’t use their testimony. Would that also be calling all political figures ‘liars’ and ‘not to be trusted’? Also, why are the witnesses putting up with being branded ‘liars’?

    Hey, off the track here but you told this ‘fatherless lot’ that you’re half of what they are, what’s the other half?

    PS:(But if it’s in the ‘about’, I will read that later – still trying to find out how Morsi is going to implement the #fuelsubsidyEgypt and how easy will it be for people to abuse.)

    • Helen says:

      On reading my last comment… I have no intention of abusing the system!

    • kareem says:

      i don’t think that you are right ‘ you almost saying that political figures are liars , i really agree with you but , there is a note , “we are all liars ” as we speak under table we don’t “untill now ” know who kill martyrs , we are all stupids , we must have some time to organize ourselves in our establishments , we are talking alot but there are no actions , we solve our problems ourselves , we are half liars and half egyptians

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    Why do Egyptians never tell the truth. They lie about the most stupid illogical things, the smallest things………….? It’s like a national disease : (

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