Morsi train

GIZA: President Mohamed Morsi visited the wheel of production in hospital on Tuesday after a stolen train driven by the Nahda Project hit it.

Eyewitnesses reported seeing the Nahda Project steal the train at approximately 5 p.m. on Tuesday afternoon. It was driven at high speed and erratically from Assiut on its way to Cairo.

It struck the wheel of production in the Giza area of Badrsheen while the wheel was spinning for the good of Egypt.

“I too am a replacement, so I understand how you feel,” Morsi said to the tyre before placing his hand on it in order to exorcise it of demons while former public prosecutor Abdel-Meguid Mahmoud, who is now being a doctor in his retirement as a hobby, watched him.

Morsi promised that $2 billion compensation would be given to the wheel by the state of Qatar. The families of the 1,000 people also killed in the accident will be receiving LE49.67 and a cassette tape, “Abo Ammar’s Top Hits” signed by the singer himself, presidential sources said.

The Nahda Project is suspected of involvement in several recent incidents including an attack on protesters outside the Presidential Palace last year. It has not however been arrested because it is not a messenger pigeon carrying a microfilm.

The Freedom and Justice Party placed the blame for Egypt’s poor railway safety record on the culture of negligence and neglect that developed during the period of Thutmose III. The National Salvation Front alleged that Morsi was driving the train at the time of the accident. Nader Bakkar meanwhile said that he has an iPad. Writing on Twitter, Mona El-Tahawy said, “tits”. Abdallah Badr responded by saying that Elham Shaheen is a low woman.

Before leaving the hospital Morsi opened his suit jacket and said, “I’m not wearing a bullet proof vest”. Army chief Abdel-Fatah El-Sissy rolled his eyes discreetly and the wheel of production told Morsi to fuck off.

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